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  No kidding. Now would be a good time to ask him to come to Velvet’s for a cook-out.

  “Velvet wants to know if you and I could come to Trent’s Saturday night. They’re cooking out and thought we might like to come over.”

  “Sure. Does Trent know she’s invited me?”

  “I would assume so. Why?”

  “I don’t know. He’s a quiet kind of guy, I guess.”

  Only when it comes to you possibly kicking my heart to the curb.

  “Sometimes he is. Not all the time.”

  We pull into my driveway. As is the norm, I wait for him to open my door. He does and proceeds to walk me to my front door as I anticipate another incredible kiss.

  Does he disappoint?

  No.

  Can you say incredible day? I can. Incredible day. That’s how Saturday has been so far.

  Ashton picked me up really early and we headed to the ball field where he worked with the pitching coach all day. He had warned me so I had brought a book and some sunscreen. I enjoyed my day outside. You don’t really realize how much you miss the sunshine while you’re cooped up in an air conditioned office all week.

  It’s with some trepidation that we arrive at Trent’s. Or should I say I. (I’m talking about the trepidation, not the arriving.) I’m curious as to how Trent is going to react to Ashton. He seems to have such a preconceived idea of who Ashton is. I hope Trent can remain partial. Then he’ll see Ashton only has my best interests at heart.

  I relax quickly at Trent’s genuine smile.

  He and Ashton shake hands and immediately head for the grill, armed with tools, steaks and laughter. Trelvet has prepared plenty of good food. Velvet and I finish setting the table. We seem to be back to our old selves while Trent and Ashton seem to be forming a friendship.

  The guys bring the steaks in, we fill our plates, and go back outside to sit down at the table on the deck and say our blessing.

  “I hope everybody’s steak is done the way they wanted it,” Trent says.

  Everybody agrees their steaks are perfect.

  “Ashton and I were talking about his career,” Trent says. “Sounds like things are going well as far as a comeback is concerned.”

  Baseball. Not a good subject on several levels. Although I really don’t know what else I expect Ashton to talk about. It seems to be his life. I just really don’t want the subject of the All-star games coming up. I haven’t told Trent I am going.

  “Velvet, this vegetable pasta salad without the pasta is really good,” I say.

  “I think I’ll be able to network at the All-Star game, too,” Ashton says to Trent, bringing my fear to light.

  The All-Star game.

  “You’re going to the All-Star game?” Trent asks.

  “Yeah. Allison and I are going,” Ashton says.

  We had opted to eat outside, and suddenly the air is hot, sticky. I swat at a fly and feel like swatting Ashton.

  “I thought the All-Star game is in Pittsburgh.” Trent says.

  “It is,” Ashton says. “It’s going to be great.”

  Great. The world according to Ashton.

  “Allison, why didn’t you tell us you were going to the game?” Trent asks, looking towards Velvet who has at this point grabbed her plate, then headed inside mumbling something about needing more non-pasta vegetable salad.

  “I thought you told Velvet you were going,” Ashton says with a puzzled look on his face.

  Oh, no, he didn’t. But, yes he did. Ashton just broke a die-hard cardinal rule of some girlfriend code that I’m sure someone has written somewhere.

  You don’t ever rat out your girlfriend to her boyfriend. I had specifically asked her not to say anything to Trent. And she hadn’t. She’d kept her end of the code.

  The incredible evening, which had been a continuation of the incredible day, is no longer so incredible.

  “I’m not sure if I mentioned it or not,” I start. “Oh, yeah. Now that I think back, I did say something about it.” My conscience feels better, but that’s about the only thing feeling better.

  Velvet sits back down, her plate filled with vegetables.

  “So, since everybody knows what’s going on besides me, anybody want to fill me in?” Trent asks.

  Ashton had looked puzzled before, but now he looks doubly puzzled.

  The intricate balance of Trent, Velvet and me has changed dramatically over the last few weeks. We have gradually come into our own regarding this new relationship. We all have new roles and (dare I say?) new loyalties. I need to face facts. Velvet’s ultimate loyalty is now with Trent.

  For them to have a successful relationship, it can be nowhere else.

  So now Velvet is torn, Trent is probably hurt or angry, I’m sorry, and Ashton, well, I guess he’s still puzzled.

  Since I’m the one who caused all the emotions running rampant around the table, I feel the need to explain.

  “Ashton asked me to go to the All-Star game, that’s all. I thought it’d be fun and Dave gave me a couple of days off work, along with a disposable camera,” I say, hoping to add a bit of humor to my story. I also slide Ashton an oh-please look when I mention the camera.

  “With this comeback thing in the works now,” he says, “it’s going to be a great chance for me to renew contacts and get back in the swing.”

  Ashton pretends his big wooden-handled steak knife is a bat and swings it as such. Then he cuts another piece of meat, stabs it with his fork and continues eating like the atmosphere hasn’t changed.

  Trent does the same (continues eating, that is), while Velvet and I do the girl-thing and push food around on our plates. I’ve lost my appetite and I guess Velvet has also, or maybe she’s just full of vegetables.

  I steal a look at Trent to find he’s looking at me. Drat. He’s got his I’ll-talk-to-you-later look I’ve come to know over the last twenty-nine years.

  You do that, Trent. I look back at him, lifting my chin to tell him I’m not scared of his lectures.

  Velvet catches me and gives me an Omigosh! look that’s saying something like “Look what you’ve done.”

  I try to shoot her an I’m-sorry, look, but she’s turned her attention toward Trent’s profile. Trent’s profile probably knows Velvet is staring and probably purposely doesn’t look her way.

  Could it be that Ashton and I have caused the very first ever Trelvet fight?

  CHAPTER 17

  Ashton walks me to my door after we had finished helping Trelvet clean up the kitchen. There were no love-pats, quick kisses or jokes between them.

  Funny how one little thing can put a bad spin on a whole evening. And it’s not about me. It’s about trust. Trent is probably wondering if he can trust Velvet again. Velvet is probably wondering why she listened to me in the first place.

  This is too much. I don’t want to be the cause of their breakup. Have I actually thought those words? A month ago I would have loved it if they had broken up.

  But I’ve changed.

  And there’s Ashton.

  I wonder if he’s going to kiss me goodnight. I’m sure he will, but I don’t know if I want him to. We need to cool it. My heart is becoming less and less mine and more and more his. And I can’t let him take my heart with him.

  Which he will, if he goes. And he wants to go.

  I know he doesn’t want to leave me. But he will. Even if he doesn’t want to.

  My mother and father revisited.

  I have no desire to live that kind of life. I have a desire for Ashton’s kisses, but not his way of life.

  There’s my sign.

  I don’t stop him, though, as he lowers his head toward mine. I have no willpower to resist. He places a very gentlemanly, tender kiss on my lips zapping my brain into Never Land.

  We say goodnight. (I’m slowly learning to speak after his kisses.) I close the door and lean against its sturdy frame for support.

  The house is dark, silent, reminding me of Ashton.

  Everything remi
nds me of Ashton.

  My mother is out on another date with somebody’s brother-in-law’s cousin twice removed. Whatever that really means. Grandma Fola is out with Paul for dinner.

  I head into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Before I finish drinking, I hear the front door open. Grandma Fola’s voice floats through the air, happy, like she’s had a good time.

  I walk into the hall.

  “Hi, dear,” Grandma Fola says.

  “Hello, Grandma, Paul,” I say.

  “Good to see you again, Allison. Well, Fola, I’m off. It’s late, you know,” Paul says.

  They laugh.

  As they do whatever it is they do at the front door , I ponder my evening.

  Grandma Fola shuts the door.

  “Did you have a good time, Grandma?” I ask.

  “I did. We had a real nice dinner, then went for a walk.”

  “That’s nice. I’m glad you have a friend. He seems really cool.”

  “He is. Is your baseball friend doing okay?”

  “His name is Ashton. We had dinner at Trent’s. I think he’s going to be okay.” I just hoped Trelvet is going to be okay.

  I try to keep my tone light and friendly, because there is no reason not to. And Ashton will definitely be okay.

  “That’s good. I know this week has been hard for him.”

  What about me? It’s been hard for me, too. Well, actually, I guess it was more of a hard evening. Lord, please forgive me. I am so selfish.

  “I hope your mother has better luck tonight,” Grandma Fola says.

  Now what a way to phrase that thought. Not I hope your mother has a good time tonight. Not I hope your mother meets a nice man tonight. But my mother’s love life or lack thereof has boiled down to a luck-type situation. I really don’t want to talk about it.

  Grandma pulls a Kleenex out of her purse and dabs at her nose.

  “Grandma, I’m tired. I think I’m going to go upstairs and hit the sack.”

  We kiss each other on the cheek. I head upstairs, she heads for the kitchen.

  The steps creak as I walk up. There was never any sneaking out of here as a teenager. Omigosh! I’m acting like a teenager. My mother’s behavior is rubbing off on me.

  I in no way resemble a twenty-nine year old when it comes to Ashton. (I have no control over the tingling of my lips. That is not self-inflicted.)

  And in a way, I’m insulting him. He’s more than an incredible kisser. He’s a genuine, sincere guy. A guy with a good heart. A guy who acts like a gentleman.

  A guy who is searching for God and instead found a girl who can’t think past his next kiss.

  I walk into Sunday school class with sadness in my heart. I take a deep breath. A girl must do what a girl must do.

  Velvet is seated, wearing a cute pink suit. Trent is filling in for someone at the station, and Ashton hasn’t arrived yet. I smile at Velvet and head toward an empty seat beside her.

  “I’m sorry about last night,” I say as I settle myself, wanting to clear the air right away. “I just didn’t think about that stupid All-Star game coming up in conversation.”

  “Yeah, well, Trent is on the warpath now. He doesn’t want you going.”

  “He’s not my father,” I say defiantly, although if my father were alive I would still be nervous about telling him I was going on an overnight date.

  “No, he’s not. He just cares for you so much, Allison. He doesn’t want Ashton hurting you.”

  “I guess he doesn’t think I have good judgment.”

  Velvet shakes her head. “That’s not it at all.” She looks around. Her voice turns into a whisper. “He thinks Ashton is a player. You know, a woman here a woman there.”

  Again, my heart hurts at the mention of this. “I don’t think he’s like that,” I say, although I guess I really don’t know. Did he get to be such a good kisser by practicing, or was he simply born with the instinct to rock a girl’s world with his lips?

  And did he rock other girls’ worlds? Or just mine?

  “You know what?” Velvet asks whispering again. “I don’t think he is, either. I’m all for you being happy. And if it’s with Ashton, then it’s with Ashton. He seems like a nice enough guy to me. Just as long as you know he’s what God wants for you. We have to keep God first.”

  God first. She’s right. Not Ashton’s kisses first, then God. What does God want from me? For me?

  Braedyn chooses this moment to arrive. One can’t help but see her in her tangerine-orange dress. She’s carrying a bright orange purse splashed with streaks of hot pink.

  I wave her over to the seat on the other side of me, setting my plan in motion.

  I’m really nervous as we exchange good mornings. I’ve made a decision. Actually a couple of them, both involving Ashton.

  Speaking of the man, he walks in. People are still milling around. He’s greeted and greets, but not before he makes eye contact with me.

  Eye contact. Heart contact. It’s all the same. Which is why I must do what I must do.

  At least until this mission trip is over, and his pitching comeback is established. Or not.

  He looks puzzled that Velvet and Braedyn are flanking either side of me. He walks over.

  “Morning, ladies,” he says.

  “Good morning, hey, Ashton,” come out together from Velvet and Braedyn respectively.

  “Hi,” I say my voice sounding quietly alone.

  His gaze won’t let me look away. His hazel-green eyes are more hazel than green today, and they are asking me questions I’m glad I don’t have to answer right now.

  Keifer comes in loud as always, shaking everybody’s hand.

  “Hey, Bud,” he says to Ashton.

  “Morning,” Ashton says and follows Keifer to the other side of the room towards the empty chairs. Keifer plops himself hard into one of the metal chairs. Ashton doesn’t plop anywhere.

  He picks up a chair and walks towards me.

  What is he doing?

  “Excuse me,” he says to Braedyn and me. “I can’t resist the urge to sit between two beautiful women this morning.”

  In a flash, Braedyn is motioning for the people to her left to scoot their chairs over. No one seems to mind.

  Velvet gives me a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding look, and I’m not sure what she is referring to. Ashton’s comment about beautiful women or Braedyn’s immediate compliance.

  I smile and try to act cool as everyone settles themselves.

  Ashton leans towards me.

  “How’s my girl?” he whispers.

  My face turns red. I know it does. I smile.

  “I’ll let you know when I ask her, whoever she is,” I whisper back.

  Making that comment makes me feel kind of cutesy inside, like I’ve made this funny little joke. By the look on Ashton’s face he doesn’t find it funny at all. I am so blowing this.

  “Good morning,” calls Jax as he settles himself at the front of our group. “Turn to James three-thirteen. That’s our lesson for today.”

  Pages rustle, including Ashton’s. He has brought his Bible. Braedyn is probably disappointed.

  “Let’s open with prayer,” Jax says.

  We all join hands. The feel of Velvet’s hand is comforting, familiar, while Ashton’s is burning, tempting. His thumb is caressing my knuckles and I can’t concentrate on the prayer.

  I have got to put a stop to this, but it would be rude to pull my hand from his right now. The prayer ends with me not even knowing what it was about.

  “Okay, today James chapter three brings up some interesting points. Doing deeds in humility that comes from wisdom. It brings up bitter envy and selfish ambition in the heart.”

  Selfish ambition in my heart? Oh, brother. My heart has been one selfish ambition for the past month.

  “Anybody want to sum this up?” Jax asks.

  “Seems to me,” Keifer says, “that we shouldn’t just talk about doing good things, we should do them. And people can see by what we do t
hat we’re trying to be Christians.”

  “Good observation,” Jax says. “That’s certainly part of it. But there’s another point James is trying to make, also.”

  “Is it saying,” I start, “if you’re doing something and your heart isn’t focused on God, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons and you need to address that within yourself?” I ask.

  “Interesting point, Allison. What do you guys think?” Jax asks. “Any opinions?”

  “My opinion is if something feels right in your heart, it’s probably right with God.”

  Those words are spoken by Ashton. Our celebrity baseball player who has yet to pray aloud or speak up in class.

  “I think Ashton is right,” Braedyn says. “Face it, if you know in your heart something is wrong, you don’t do it. And it’s wrong because it’s not in line with God. So if it’s right, it must be in line with God.”

  Braedyn is clever. Yes, she is.

  I guess I’m not so clever. So I counter.

  “Just because it feels right, doesn’t necessarily mean it is right. Hearts react to a lot of different situations, and not all of them are Godly.”

  I can feel Ashton’s eyes on me, boring into my head where he normally kisses it. He needs to understand.

  God first. When God is first, then everything else falls into place.

  And I haven’t been a very good Christian, not giving Ashton that insight. Not only haven’t I given him that insight, I haven’t been acting like it.

  Besides, in a month he could be gone and where would I be?

  “But just because your heart reacts in a way you don’t want it to, doesn’t mean it isn’t Godly,” Ashton says.

  “I don’t think the focus here is hearts in general,” Velvet says. “It’s the whole aspect of learning God’s word and doing what’s right by what you learn. We’re all going to have bitterness or selfishness in our hearts from time to time. We’re human. But I think the scripture says not to dwell on it, just move on to what’s right.”

  Why doesn’t Velvet just yell cease fire? It would serve the same purpose.

  CHAPTER 18

  “What gives, Allison,” Ashton asks as he follows me to my car after church.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, knowing full well what he means, but I don’t feel like discussing it right here in the church parking lot.